Just Breathe

On gratitude, good news, and radical joy

I went to Denver last weekend to visit my son. He’s doing an internship and prepping for the LSAT, and I wanted to see what his life was like in Colorado. Friends, it felt so good to unplug. To feel the spring sun on my face and admire the cherry blossoms showing off in Golden. My parents came along, and we took long walks, had great talks, and enjoyed a cocktail at one of my son’s favorite restaurants. In short, it was just what the doctor ordered.

I don’t know about you, but I feel like I have been living in a state of near-constant anxiety. The news cycle refuses to cut us any slack, and I have worried that if I don’t keep up with it all, I am somehow abdicating my duties as a concerned citizen, good neighbor, and fledgling advocate. I don’t just want to be informed and engaged, I feel like it is my moral obligation to do so.

It’s exhausting.

Disconnecting a bit in Colorado reminded me that in spite of all the awfulness around us, we need to continue to pour into ourselves. No one can draw from an empty well—and mine was approaching bone dry.

Maybe you can relate. This heightened state of low-grade, never ending panic is unsustainable, isn’t it? An impossible standard of engagement that is going to burn us all out like a handful of cheap sparklers on the Fourth of July. But we can’t go up in flames, leaving nothing behind but a puff of useless smoke—we have to be in this for the long haul. Healthy and unswerving. Smart and stable. Able to stumble and recover, over and over again. Filled with an unshakable, seemingly inexplicable JOY.

“Joy is the holy fire that keeps our purpose warm and our intelligence aglow.” Helen Keller

Joy is radical, countercultural, strange. It surprises people and transforms impossible situations. It’s an act of insurrection—rebellious and infectious—that disrupts power dynamics and ensures that no matter how bleak things become, we carry a flame that cannot be quenched. I’m not sure there is anything we can do that could be more consequential than subverting the status quo and embracing the deep, steadfast understanding that life is beautiful and we should spend our days seeking that beauty, reveling in it, and pointing it out to others.

But HOW??? When our hearts are aching and people are hurting and the world is on fire… How on earth can we cultivate joy???

Maybe, every now and again, we need to just breathe. To take more than a moment to notice the wonder around us and seek out whatever little delight we can find in the everyday. It’s so simple and yet so incredibly difficult. Profound and unpretentious all at once.

This is not an invitation to stop caring, stop working, stop trying. Fear not: I’ll keep fighting (and I hope you do, too). But I’ve learned that this heart needs fresh air—and not just from time to time. In order to keep up my strength and deepen that parched well, I need a steady diet of the good stuff. Therefore, in order to encourage a bit more balance and light in my life, I’m committing to two daily practices:

1. Gratitude. Several years ago I started keeping a gratitude journal and it changed me. I know that sounds ridiculously hyperbolic, but it’s true. Having a thankful heart—especially when life is hard and it seems there is little to be thankful for—is nothing short of transformative. But because I’m fickle and don’t have a long attention span, somehow I lost my way and stopped keeping a record of all the small blessings in my everyday life. It’s time to resurrect that practice.

2. Good News. I believe that knowledge is power, not ignorance is bliss, and in my pursuit of understanding I can go pretty far overboard in staying up-to-date and researching all the angles. If my family ever wanted to summarize my entire personality in a single line, it would probably be: “So, Niki was reading an article the other day and *insert obscure fact/ new advancement/analysis of breaking news here.*” Unfortunately, a lot of that information has been shockingly negative and/or depressing as of late, and it’s been impacting me. I’m going to make it my mission to find and amplify good news. Not in a Pollyanna way, just in a healthy balance way.

I’ve already shared a few things that I’m grateful for (cherry blossoms! my kid! fresh air!), but I’d love to point out some GOOD NEWS that’s bringing me joy today. I hope it brings a smile to your face and refreshes you in a small but meaningful way.

• Senator Cory Booker broke the record for the longest speech on the Senate floor! My family and I were able to watch the moment he realized the impact of what he had done—and I’m not afraid to say the tears streamed down my face. No food, no bathroom breaks. Just a man making history and speaking truth to power for more than an entire day straight. Watch this powerful moment and then straighten your spine, friends. “I’m scared, too. But fear is a necessary precursor to courage.” -Sen. Cory Booker

• The Jefferson County Public Library in Golden, Colorado is doing the Lord’s work! Partway through a walk this past weekend, I really needed a bathroom break (altitude makes you so thirsty). Thankfully, the public library was nearby and I ducked inside to use the facilities. Not only was the library teeming with people (parents and kids, elderly people, a handful of teens), there was a poster on the bathroom door that offered any patron in need some basic necessities. Everything from granola bars and water bottles to hats and gloves were available for free. I shouldn’t have been surprised to see a library providing for its community in such a hands-on, tangible way, but I was truly, deeply touched. Bravo, JCPL!

• A 13-year-old girl in the UK scored higher than Albert Einstein and Stephen Hawking on the IQ test! This sweet little sister didn’t even prep. The future is bright, my friends.

• The National Park Service has been authorized to rehire all 1,000 probationary park staff who were terminated! Reversing the Trump administration’s cruel and damaging layoffs is proving to be rather tricky, but it’s a step in the right direction. Maybe our advocacy really is making a difference.

• On Saturday, April 5 there is going to be a National Day of Action! Will you be there? You can click this link to see where there will be a gathering near you. Can’t be there in person? Here are some other ways you can participate: spread the word, make a sign for your front yard, drop off water or snacks for attendees, share social media posts, leave encouraging comments, and/or pray for everyone who shows up.

• Wisconsin proved that Elon Musk can’t buy everything! He sure did try (to the tune of $25 million dollars—including his attempt to buy votes by giving away $2 million to those who “rejected activist judges”), but the good people of Wisconsin said no thanks and elected Susan Crawford instead. We can only hope Musk is having a come to Jesus moment this morning as he thinks about his life choices.

Whew! I hope something in there made you happy, even if only for a moment. May our eyes be ever open to the love and light all around us, even when (especially when!) the world seems dark. Cultivate gratitude, share good news, and I’ll see you in the streets on Saturday. I think my sign will read: “The power of the people is greater than the people in power.” Thanks, Cory.

And thanks for reading. xoxo - Nicole

Not interested in becoming a paid subscriber but would like to support my work? You can “buy me a coffee” at THIS LINK. It’s just a small way to say “thanks” if you feel so inclined.

I’m a proud member of the Iowa Writers’ Collaborative, a roundup of world-class journalists who call Iowa home. I invite you to check out the group and become a paying member of one or more of our pages.