Get in the game
An open letter to my disengaged friends
Gosh, I love you.
You’re smart and kind and funny and amazing. Just being in your presence makes me happy. I love hanging out with you and having long conversations about all the important and ridiculous stuff. I’m so happy that we have hobbies and things we like to do together. Your kids are walking miracles and I never tire of hearing your stories about them. In short, I think you are the best. Being your friend is one of the highlights of my life.
In the last several months I’ve felt this bit of distance between us. It’s nothing major, just a gray space on the periphery of our world that seems as if there is bright yellow police tape strung around it: Danger! Keep Out! So we avoid it at all costs, backtracking quickly if we ever find ourselves too close to the edge. I think we do it to preserve the bond that we have, and it makes perfect sense: we’ve seen this gray space destroy friendships and families over the last decade. We don’t want it to happen to us.
But I’m not sure silent inaction is the fix we think it is.
When the Baart kids were little, they played every sport. Hockey, soccer, basketball, volleyball, track & field, and even a year of baseball (we’re just not into baseball). And we only had two rules for their involvement: 1.) Finish what you’ve started. 2.) Give it your all. These mandates occasionally led to mid-season tears when our kids got sick of it and didn’t want to play anymore, but more often resulted in sideline pep talks that included a phrase we used on repeat: “Get in the game.” Distracted by everything from butterflies in the outfield to cute girls in the stands, sometimes our little athletes forgot that they were playing a game at all.
“You’ve got this,” we would encourage them. “Focus. Your team needs you. This will all be over soon and you can put it behind you, but for now you need to remember where you are and why you’re here. You have to do your part.”
When we don’t talk about what’s happening in the world around us, I feel like we’re those kids on the soccer pitch picking dandelions instead of playing the game. Our world really needs us right now—our neighbors really need us right now!—and unfortunately the trials we are facing are not some children’s game. The changes that are being made to our democracy from the top down will affect us and our kids for generations to come. I don’t think any of us can afford the luxury of abstaining from cultural discourse or claiming “I’m just not political” these days. We need to get in the game.
I know you don’t need me to mother you or tell you what to care about or pay attention to. We all have insanely busy lives and lots of pressures, responsibilities, and personal heartaches to attend to every single day. Adding to what feels like a never-ending to do list is not only unwelcome, it feels hostile. I get it. And I’m not asking you to march in a protest or show up in person at your senator’s office or start posting screeds online. I just think it’s really, really important that you understand what’s going on in our world—or one day you may look up and realize that nothing is quite what you believed it to be. I know you already know this, but we need to take an active role in shaping the world our kids will inherit. It matters now more than ever.
Not sure what to do? Here are a few ways to start:
Get informed. Start listening to a daily news update. Make it part of your morning routine—while you’re brewing coffee, brushing your teeth, or driving to work. I recommend Up First from NPR ( a short, 10-15 minute daily roundup of headlines and breaking news), Start Here from ABC (maybe a smidge longer on average than Up First), or the BBC Global News (20-30 minutes of global news). If you’d rather read your news, I like The Skimm (a quick, summative read with links to longer stories) or The Pour Over (politically neutral, Christian based news). I get it, the news kind of sucks. It’s a huge downer. But if we don’t pay attention to what’s going on, by the time we clue in it might be too late.
Resist overwhelm by focusing in. Once you start to really understand what’s going on in the world around you, it’s super easy to fall into despair. It all seems pretty bleak, and honestly, how can one person make even the slightest difference? Well, we absolutely can by: narrowing our focus. What matters to you? What topics pierce your heart? Is it immigration? Cuts to research funding? The humanitarian crises in Gaza, Sudan, Syria, or Ethiopia? War in Ukraine? I promise, something will matter deeply to you. That’s your focal point. Stay up-to-date and knowledgeable about the one topic that is important to you so that you can answer the call when it comes. There are several people in my community who vehemently oppose the Medicaid cuts in the Big Beautiful Bill because it directly impacts their families or loved ones. Others are voicing their support for our national parks as the Trump administration prepares to privatize our public lands. It’s so heartening to see people rally around the issues that matter to them while they work to educate others. I’ve been astounded by the level of expertise in both my online and in-real-life communities. Share what you know so others can make informed decisions about how and when to engage.
Do something. Nothing is quite so cathartic as doing something. It doesn’t have to be big. In fact, take your focal point and make it local. Concerned about access to health care? You can make a donation to your local hospital’s debt relief fund. Horrified by Alligator Alcatraz and Deportation Depot? Bake cookies for your immigrant neighbors. You can always call or email your reps and senators to express your opinion about an issue. Or, call me. Let’s talk. We won’t agree about everything and that’s okay. But I do think we have to acknowledge that there is a lot going on right now… We can’t pretend everything is fine.
My friend, I adore you. Nothing will ever change that. And I see you—I see your gifts and your passion and your heart. I want you to know that the world needs you. As a parent, employee, neighbor, and friend. As a present and engaged American and global citizen. I don’t want you to wake up one day to a country that you don’t recognize or a world in utter despair. You were made for such a time as this. Dear friend, get in the game.
love, me
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Harry Dunn said something similar at the Iowa Democratic Wing Ding this week. He acknowledged that a lot of people are struggling now. He urged us all to pick one issue we're passionate about and one thing we can do to help, just with that issue.
I appreciate what you have said here. You have given me words that I can use when I talk to people who give reasons not to be involved. Focusing local is critical to building trust - something that has been lost given the torrent of lies exuding from the not to be trusted “leaders”.