It has long been my observation that the best conversations often happen when people are doing some degree of physical labor side by side. The work seems to allow for space, time to think more clearly. The conversation may feel like it is a by-product of the work when it often becomes the other way around. Physical labor is something we miss not only because our bodies need it but also because our minds need it. The conversation that results from working together always makes the work easier and the relationship stronger.
You're not alone in your observation. I love your "Mom Instructions"! They're good! A more extended version of your thoughts is shared by David Brooks of the NY Times, who ended up writing the book "How to Get to Know a Person." Thanks for this column, Nicole!
Thank you. It’s been awhile since I’ve recalled those interesting and fun talks during kitchen chores at Grandma’s. Time in the car driving to lessons and games often were a great time for conversations with our girls — until cell phones invaded. Thanks for the look-back!
I love this, Nichole. It takes me back to the Sundays at my grandma's house in small-town Iowa (Deloit - right outside of Denison). We all helped carry dishes to the table before dinner and then cleaned up afterwards. And it wasn't considered work. It's what we did as a family and it was part of the fun. I remember my grandma telling me when I hadn't dried a dish perfectly and I shouldn't put it away if it "was crying." Such a funny way to look at it! I will cherish those memories always. Now, the kids in our family help to set and clear the table, and they like being part of the process. And...no phones allowed at the table! Thanks so much for taking me back to days I loved.
When we used to wash dishes, it was more of a fun time than a serious conversation time. We'd chirp at each other about the proper way to wash or dry, where the dishes would go, and we'd poke each other and laugh. It was a fun time. We rarely had serious conversations unless we were in smaller groups, one to one.
But I love your list, it is so true. I wish everyone could read it. The only cell phone I have is a simple emergency phone. When I'm with family, I'm with them. I'm sure if I had a phone I would be sucked in just like I am to the internet when I'm home on my computer. And eye contact - that is so important. Thanks for this post.
I particularly like your emphasis on eye contact and listening. Wonderful suggestions all. Thank you!
I’m so happy to hear that. I’m stunned how difficult eye contact is for a lot of young people--and an increasing amount of grown ups!
Easier to be looking at a screen!
It has long been my observation that the best conversations often happen when people are doing some degree of physical labor side by side. The work seems to allow for space, time to think more clearly. The conversation may feel like it is a by-product of the work when it often becomes the other way around. Physical labor is something we miss not only because our bodies need it but also because our minds need it. The conversation that results from working together always makes the work easier and the relationship stronger.
I couldn't agree more! "Windshield time" (i.e. driving around) is also a great time for a conversation.
Thank you, Nicole. You gave me a lot to think about!
Thank you for reading, Kathi!
You're not alone in your observation. I love your "Mom Instructions"! They're good! A more extended version of your thoughts is shared by David Brooks of the NY Times, who ended up writing the book "How to Get to Know a Person." Thanks for this column, Nicole!
And thank you for the recommendation! I'll look into David's column and his book!
Thank you. It’s been awhile since I’ve recalled those interesting and fun talks during kitchen chores at Grandma’s. Time in the car driving to lessons and games often were a great time for conversations with our girls — until cell phones invaded. Thanks for the look-back!
I love this, Nichole. It takes me back to the Sundays at my grandma's house in small-town Iowa (Deloit - right outside of Denison). We all helped carry dishes to the table before dinner and then cleaned up afterwards. And it wasn't considered work. It's what we did as a family and it was part of the fun. I remember my grandma telling me when I hadn't dried a dish perfectly and I shouldn't put it away if it "was crying." Such a funny way to look at it! I will cherish those memories always. Now, the kids in our family help to set and clear the table, and they like being part of the process. And...no phones allowed at the table! Thanks so much for taking me back to days I loved.
When we used to wash dishes, it was more of a fun time than a serious conversation time. We'd chirp at each other about the proper way to wash or dry, where the dishes would go, and we'd poke each other and laugh. It was a fun time. We rarely had serious conversations unless we were in smaller groups, one to one.
But I love your list, it is so true. I wish everyone could read it. The only cell phone I have is a simple emergency phone. When I'm with family, I'm with them. I'm sure if I had a phone I would be sucked in just like I am to the internet when I'm home on my computer. And eye contact - that is so important. Thanks for this post.