I really appreciate your sincerity in writing this, Nicole. As a past marching band mom, and now as my young grandchildren enter sports, I can really relate. They are all of our kids, and my wish, too, is that we can support them all with that belief.
I spent my entire high school career trying to find a way to fit in. I sang in chorus, was on the yearbook organization, tried, fruitlessly, to learn French, but always watched the same kids, the kids whose parents had the most money, get chosen for cheerleading and sports. Not that was any good at the sports that my high school offered, but so many of watched year after year as the same kids were selected. It was rigged. It broke up my Senior year when a Black student filed a lawsuit. There had never been a Black cheerleader, despite having a number of qualified girls who tried out. That broke the cycle. That should never have to happen.
Thanks for this, Nicole. I completely agree. At an early age, youth soccer swept its way into our home (or invaded, rather). Two kids. Essentially year-round demands. No time for other sports after a while. It took over many an evening, many a family dinner, many a time where I think we would have been better off being together without a game or a practice, etc. And, yes, God forbid you speak up. In a team vote about whether to go to a Labor Day tournament or not, I asked if we could take a weekend off to be with our families, and it seemed like no one heard me.
Oh, man. I didn't even touch on the amount of TIME required... Family time is a rainbow unicorn when your kids play sports. What are we doing to ourselves and them?
Haha, I really don't know, but it's amazing how we've devalued family time as a result, or at least we did. Except it wasn't like we made a decision. Youth soccer just swept into our home and started making demands...
You may have already had the chance to read Linda Flanagan’s book Take Back the Game. She describes others who share the same experience as yours. Her focus is on club sports. She describes the impact club team participation on families, the expense, the time and the impact a student participants. It’s worth a read for anyone with concern four young people.
This is such an insightful take on how sports dominate small town high school culture. It’s also why our family is so proud of our grandson. He has starred in football and baseball, first team all-state in both, but he has also consistently valued and embraced non-athlete kids who so often get submerged by the athlete culture at his school. Thank you, Nicole!
I really appreciate your sincerity in writing this, Nicole. As a past marching band mom, and now as my young grandchildren enter sports, I can really relate. They are all of our kids, and my wish, too, is that we can support them all with that belief.
Thanks, Connie. I'm so glad it resonated.
I spent my entire high school career trying to find a way to fit in. I sang in chorus, was on the yearbook organization, tried, fruitlessly, to learn French, but always watched the same kids, the kids whose parents had the most money, get chosen for cheerleading and sports. Not that was any good at the sports that my high school offered, but so many of watched year after year as the same kids were selected. It was rigged. It broke up my Senior year when a Black student filed a lawsuit. There had never been a Black cheerleader, despite having a number of qualified girls who tried out. That broke the cycle. That should never have to happen.
I'm so glad the cycle was broken in your high school! I agree--it shouldn't have happened in the first place.
Thanks for this, Nicole. I completely agree. At an early age, youth soccer swept its way into our home (or invaded, rather). Two kids. Essentially year-round demands. No time for other sports after a while. It took over many an evening, many a family dinner, many a time where I think we would have been better off being together without a game or a practice, etc. And, yes, God forbid you speak up. In a team vote about whether to go to a Labor Day tournament or not, I asked if we could take a weekend off to be with our families, and it seemed like no one heard me.
Oh, man. I didn't even touch on the amount of TIME required... Family time is a rainbow unicorn when your kids play sports. What are we doing to ourselves and them?
Haha, I really don't know, but it's amazing how we've devalued family time as a result, or at least we did. Except it wasn't like we made a decision. Youth soccer just swept into our home and started making demands...
This is perfect!
I'm so glad it resonated with you.
I coached youth baseball for close to 20 years and have seen parents nearly destroy it - so yes it resonates :-)
You may have already had the chance to read Linda Flanagan’s book Take Back the Game. She describes others who share the same experience as yours. Her focus is on club sports. She describes the impact club team participation on families, the expense, the time and the impact a student participants. It’s worth a read for anyone with concern four young people.
Thank you so much for the recommendation! I haven't read it, but will add it to my TBR.
The stories I could tell about sports going wrong.
For those that have to fight for playing time, how is it ever worth it?
It's the perfect cynic's lesson. Life has little reward to it. Others are better than you and there is little you can do about it.
Kids need to eventually learn that life is very rarely ever Rainbows and Unicorns, but that's for when they're older.
You're so right: it is often the perfect cynic's lesson. I've seen so many kids (and adults!) devote themselves to things that never love them back...
This is such an insightful take on how sports dominate small town high school culture. It’s also why our family is so proud of our grandson. He has starred in football and baseball, first team all-state in both, but he has also consistently valued and embraced non-athlete kids who so often get submerged by the athlete culture at his school. Thank you, Nicole!